Trust Me
by Janaie42
Summary: In relationships you have "The Talk." Some dread it more than others - but maybe they just need a little help and understanding. Slash Ficlet.
1. Chapter 1

The word "relationship" can encompass so many things.

You can have a relationship with living, breathing things or you can have a relationship with all things inanimate.

You can build an attachment to any and everything and yet still want more. More things to love, to hold, to examine.

More things to extract.

I don't want a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend, or a significant other, _my person_, whatever. I don't want to expand my little world of relationships because that shit is unnecessarily complicated.

Nothing is concrete or set in stone.

I am a true believer in the fact that anything can be replaced.

Whether it's an artifact.

Or a person.

Or a place.

You can build new memories out of nothing and do new things that include something.

That house you grew up in.

That bike you once rode.

That boy you first crushed on.

That girl who was your first.

Anything can be replaced.

Nothing has value until you give it. Give it meaning. Give it a reason, a purpose.

Anything can be replaced - including feelings.

Why do people assign value to the things that they do?

More specifically...why do people value other people?


	2. Chapter 2

I am an admittingly selfish human being. I assess my comfort first. I categorize my needs. I prioritize my wants.

Some would say self-care is important, but frown when people need to pull away from them to work on it. You can't have it both ways just because it'll be more convenient for you. I have since learned that people are very sensitive when it comes to self-care.

Yes, random stranger. Sometimes _you_ are the person that someone needs to get away from.

While I'm sure I am not everyone's' cup of tea...you're probably not mine either.

* * *

Alice looks up from her calamari. She wipes her hands and looks at me cautiously. "So, I have a date on Wednesday." She fidgets with the napkin on her lap, clearing her throat. "With Jasper. From mom and dad's?"

She phrases this as a question. As if seeking my approval. Whether it's approval of her date or approval of her dating, I don't know. Probably both.

"That's great, Al. Do you know what you want? 'Cause I'm starving." I smile at her sarcastically with my eyes closed. Looking back down at the menu, I give her a chance to get her thoughts together. She's going to bring it back up in 3, 2…

"Bella, I have a date. Be happy for me. I'll even take your let-me-pretend-I-care face." She shakes my hand and dances in her seat.

"How about we wait for Rose to get back from the bathroom?"

"Right. I'll wait." She picks up the menu and pretends to look through it. Still dancing.

Turning back towards the menu, I try to decide if I'm going to be relaxed Bella or normal Bella. To order a drink or not to order a drink.

For this conversation, I'm not going to order a drink.

I will never understand why someone would need to alter their state of mind to endure a person they willingly choose to converse with. Maybe they shouldn't be around that person.

Oh, that's right.

People would rather take the easy way out.

Finally coming back to the table, Rose sits down with a huff. "You would think a restaurant this nice would have switched towards hand dryers. I'm not gonna be hugging any trees but I would like to feel as if I'm not killing even more living things."

I keep my face as neutral as possible. "How many bugs have you went out of your way to destroy?"

"Don't be dramatic Bell, they're bugs. They're disgusting." She waves over our waiter and takes a sip of her water. Avian, of course.

"I was trying to tell Bella about my date this Friday, but in usual Bella fashion -"

"She doesn't really care." Rose smiles at her and rubs her arm. She glances at me before eyeing the waiter. "You know Bella, I've been wondering how Leah feels about you thinking relationships are a waste of time. How long have you guys been...together?" She cocks her head and turns to look at me.

Thankfully the waiter comes, just in time for me to keep my mouth shut.

I'd really hate to tell one of my bestfriends to fuck off.

"You guys ready to order?" We nod. "What can I get you?"

* * *

Clutching my stomach and dramatically falling against Alice, I continue to laugh hysterically.

"Oh my God. You're killing me!"

She shoves me away and wipes her own tears from laughter. "Get off of me you whore. Gosh. I can't believe you even think that way."

My phone buzzes in my pocket. Pulling it out to check the notification, I continue to try to make my point. "What's wrong with being a cam girl?! Do you even watch porn? You know what, I'll drop you my _Delicates_ file." I kick Alice in the butt swiftly, moving away quickly when she reaches for me.

Walking towards my apartment complex, we lead Rose to her car.

"How did we even get to cam girls? And who are you texting?" Alice says, the frustration clear in her voice.

I gum my lips. I ignore her question.

Unlocking her car and opening her trunk, Rose answers Alice in the sweetest way possible. "We were trying to get you to loosen up. We get it. There are rules according to Alice when it comes to dating. Maybe you can loosen the string a bit. Sex on the first date isn't so bad."

"Have you ever had sex on the first date?" Alice stares at Rose, waiting for confirmation of a story we've told her more than once.

"Yes, more than once. But only with guys who tip our servers more than 20%. I'll drop my panties for anybody who treats waitresses and waiters like human beings."

"I should know." I kiss Rose on her cheek, then smile cheekily at Alice. I would wink, but that'd probably just piss her off. I'm not dealing with a pissed off Alice. Sister or no sister.

"Maybe that's why you're still single, Rose?" I gasp, covering my mouth in mock horror. "Or maybe it's just because...wait, people only shit out rainbows and sunshine, right Alice?"

"Fuck off, Bella."

If she can say it, why can't I?

"No, it's fine." Rose zips her overnight bag and closes her turns to Alice.

"I didn't mean it in a bad way. I'm just saying. Maybe the guys she goes out with aren't looking for sex." Alice says.

"Maybe the guys I go out with are assholes. Look at Bella. She's not having any trouble."

"That's because she only went for people who didn't want more than one night. I'm not having sex with someone I just met, no matter how much he tips." Alice throws her hands up. "I'm going to my car. I'll see you guys next weekend."

She stalks off. I briefly wonder why she was being so dramatic about this. We were having fun discussing her date (by we, I mean Rose) and then she went all secretive and wanted to establish a new rule.

_No meeting the friends until at least 6 dates in._

Whatever. I've never actually been the friend who wanted to meet the boyfriends. Or girlfriends. Not that I'm trying to be a bad friend. I just don't want to invest my time into getting to know new people. I have my circle and I don't want it expanded.

"What's her problem tonight? She usually doesn't get that mad at us that quickly."

I shrug. "I don't know what her problem is. But I do know that I am tired as hell. All that laughing really took it out of me." I give Rose a hug. "I'll see you next weekend?"

"Yeah. I'll let you know when I make it home."

"Please and thank you." She gets in her car and takes five-ever to get her music going so she can finally drive off.

I watch her leave and then Alice.

Oh, Alice. If she wasn't my sister I would have dropped her a long time ago.

Eh. I still could. But I won't. Our parents would kill me.


	3. Chapter 3

Dragging my ass up the stairs and collapsing against the wall in the lobby, I take a deep breath. Why I decided to get back on my fitness journey is beyond me at this point. Telling myself that the end goal is my king sized bed gets me moving again towards the elevators.

Waiting for the elevator to _come the fuck on_ already, I hear a shuffling coming towards me.

"Hey Bella." I look over at that voice and glance down at her hands. I laugh a little. Jesus.

"Um, do you need help?" I gesture to the stack of wrapped boxes towering over her.

"No, I was just saying hey to be neighborly. I don't need help at all."

I roll my eyes and drop my bag. I lift the boxes from the bottom, "I got it kind of," and feel her hands shift to let me hold them. She immediately grabbed the top half of the stack and moved to get in the elevator.

Getting upstairs to our floor, I follow her lead. Scooting the boxes out of the elevator by my foot, I wave my hand in the direction of my apartment. "Let me put my bag in my place and I'll be right back."

"I'll be here."

Shifting the last box into Leah's living room, I walk towards her couch and throw myself onto the plush velvet cushions.

I really need my bed.

"You okay?" She laughs a little, shifting some of the boxes out of the way so she can sit down at my feet.

I nod, covering my mouth when I yawn.

"You can stay here, you know."

I slowly open my , but maybe not the best idea. "Uh, yeah. Okay."

"Of course. Are you hungry?" She asks, getting up and walking towards the kitchen. Beautiful backsplash, soft granite counter tops, white cabinets. I could honestly just sleep in the kitchen.

"I don't even have the energy to get up anymore. I used the last of it to help you."

"Aw, how sweet I knew you cared."

"Oh, no. I don't care about you at all. Especially not enough to give you four orgasms in one night."

"Well let's see if you care enough to eventually break that record." She smirks.

All I can do is smile, and by some miracle, I shift to stand up. Her back is to me as she puts a large pot of something on the stove to heat up. I would stay on the couch, far, far away, but I miss her too much. Walking over, I watch her carefully, finally stopping to stand behind her. I wrap my arms around her waist from behind leaning my forehead to rest just below the top of her back.

I'm usually the little spoon since I'm so much shorter than her. Lately, though...I can't seem to get enough of having _her_ in _my_ arms.

Fuck, this is a really bad idea.

* * *

"How was your date Al?"

"It was...beautiful. We went to this nice restaurant for dinner and then he took me dancing and the conversation was just...ugh. I really felt that spark, you know?" She's dancing in her seat again. At least there's no clapping.

That urge to leave will never go away.

My God it's getting stronger.

"That's great Al. I feel like saying you went to a restaurant for dinner is a little redundant. Why else would you go to a restaurant if not for dinner? A drink maybe, but then you'd probably say -"

"Bella."

"Yes Alice?" I take a sip of my margarita and look around for the waiter.

"Fuck off."

I choke on my drink and cough through my laughter. Oh, yeah. That's why I still hang out with her. Rose shoots me a look that I ignore.

She downs her water as the waiter finally make his back over to our booth. "What Bella wasn't trying to say is we're glad you had a good time. Are you guys going out again?"

"Yeah, on Tuesday."

"A week day?"

"Yeah, why not? He travels a lot, but he said he's willing to make time for me."

The waiter fills our waters and asks us about the menu and if we have any questions. We've been coming here since college and get the same thing everytime, but Rose surprises us and gets coke with her meal. _A coke._

Hell just froze over.

"So I was thinking that we should actually do something tomorrow. Bowling?" Rose looks between us a few times to gauge our reactions. "Huh? Huh?"

Alice looks at me. I look at her. We're looking at each other because _what the fuck_?

"Rose, honey." Alice grabs her hand. "I would ask if you're smoking something but you would never risk overeating but why would you suggest that we leave the house? How long have you known us?" She asks chuckling.

I'm looking at Rose like she just shit all over the table because really? I don't even like going to the gym right after work because it prolongs the time away from bed. Why would she suggest we spend more time outside of the house? Maybe she is high. There's this thing called eye drops.

"Bella?"

"Yes. Sorry."

"Back me up here."

"Right. We take turns staying over each others places because that's supposed to be the spice of life. That's us doing something. The drive over is seriously an adventure."

"Yes! Yes. Rose you don't even know - wait. Just tell us why. Go." Alice waves her hand in a shooing motion.

"Okay, well. Before you guys started freaking out - and we're out of the house now, might I add - I was going to let you guys know that I want you guys to meet someone. In a public place because you guys can be less embarrassing in public" She looks between us again.

What?

"What?" I'm frowning. I'm confused. I look down at the table and at my hands. When did I finish my margarita?

"Emmett. Remember? The guy I've been seeing from my office? He wanted to meet you guys sooner but I wasn't wasting my time or yours if he turned out to be another Riley." At that name we all shudder.

Riley. Never again.

I would _never_.

"Wow. Are you - did you guys? Wow." Alice takes a big drink of her water. She looks everywhere but at us.

No Alice. You're not the first one to find love and get married. Get over it.

"Well, I wanted us to meet in public so that Bella won't get the urge to ask him really invasive questions." Rose glares at me and looks back at Alice. "If you guys aren't up for it, then we can do it another time."

The waiter comes back to ask if I want another margarita. I nod because I'm not driving and these cheap things are always the best. How do they do that?

"Actually," I shift my ice around in my glass. "I still don't get why'd risk dating someone you work with but I'm down. If we can keep it short and possibly move it back to your place then I don't see why not. You guys have been dating, what, 7 months? I can fuck with that."

"Bella, language. Really. One of us is seriously adopted." Alice rolls her eyes.

"As opposed to being figuratively adopted? Nice." Alice throws her lemon rind at me.

Catching it with my mouth doesn't work. It would have surprised me if it did.


	4. Chapter 4

Standing in Rose's living room, I skim the movies on her shelf. She has such an enormous movie collection.

"So, I'm kind of feeling How the Grinch Stole Christmas. On VHS." I turn towards Alice and Rose who are sitting on her couch. I raise my eyebrows in question.

"Uh, that's fine. Even though it's not really appropriate for this time of year, but whatever." Alice shrugs and goes back to looking through her magazine.

I sigh. "Alice...I'll pray for you."

"Please do."

Getting the movie together, Rose finally gets off her ass to go make the popcorn. Once we're all situated I wait for one of us to start a conversation.

The movie is just background noise, you know?

"Did you guys go see 21 Bridges? How was it?" Rose asks, shifting her body to turn towards us.

"Actually, no. Bella blew me off."

"Why?" Rose glances at me and squints at Alice.

Why ask why?

"I think Bella should tell you why she blew off her only sister. I think you'll be quite interested in knowing how she spent her night." Alice crosses her arms and cocks her head at me, smiling.

"Bella…"

"You don't have to put on your mother hen face Rosalie. Alice is a big girl."

"Well, what were you doing? You've been talking about that movie for weeks."

I exhale heavily. "I spent the night with Leah. And to my credit, I asked Alice if she wanted to do something with Leah and I."

…

…

"What did you guys go do? I thought you and Alice had already made those plans." Rose looks at me and glances at Alice with a _look_.

I ignore that. "We did not! Hold up. First of all, I would never outright ditch someone for some ass if I already had plans with one of you guys. No matter how tempting. Second, Alice called me the day before she wanted to go and I told her that Leah and I were already going to the movies to see that awful Charlie's Angels movie."

"You didn't even want to see that!" Alice exclaims, pointing at me.

"I know that, but Leah - "

"You're going on dates with someone you just referred to as 'some ass'?" Rose smiles at me.

I roll my eyes. "Yes, Rose. Leah and I went out."

Alice scoffs. Rose's smile gets bigger. And bigger.

"When did you and Leah start hanging out outside of the bedroom?"

I don't want to answer that. I roll over onto my stomach to watch the movie.

"Bella. How long have you and Leah been together?"

"We're not together."

"How long have you been dating?"

"We're not dating."

"They're not dating Rose. If they were, then Bella would have to admit that she actually cares about someone romantically and _gasp,_ wants more than sex from someone."

I keep my eyes on the TV. I'm not giving in to them tonight.

I'm not giving into _anything_ tonight.


	5. Chapter 5

Leah and I are...a...thing. I'm not stupid. I know what it looks like. I know what it seems like. What it _actually is_. But why does there have to be something definable about every single thing? I like Leah. I love spending time with her. She doesn't annoy me.

I'd really like to just leave it at that.

Which is why I don't bring her or _us_ up. Unless absolutely necessary.

"_Fuuuuuh-fuck._" Fisting the sheets, I grind head back into the mattress. My hips buck up towards hers and my orgasm hits me in waves. I grit my teeth, moaning. Leah gasps.

Third one tonight.

Leaning down to bite my nipple, breathing hard, she chuckles darkly. "Don't think I'm anywhere near done with you."

Finding the strength, I wiggle down and shift her up so I can see what I come here for. _Fuck._

Lips the color of smooth caramel and as addictive as the world's finest chocolate.

Glistening. Dripping.

"I think I'll have my dessert now."

* * *

"So _you _were the one that was okay meeting Emmett? Wow." Pulling a few bowls down from the cabinet, Leah reheats the dinner that we didn't get to.

That may have been my fault.

Watching the curve of her ass peeking out of her shorts, I try to answer without drooling. I'll never get used to how beautiful she is.

Olive skin. Better when she's tanned, darker.

Beautiful ass. Beautiful lips. _As above, so below._

_God. _

"Bella." Leah snaps her fingers in front of my face. I blink a few times to clear the haze. She shakes her head and continues fixing our food.

"Sorry. Got a little...distracted. But yeah." I fidget with my shorts. The ones I pulled from my drawer. The drawer she emptied for me. The drawer she emptied for me in her bedroom.

I have a drawer in someone's bedroom.

_Ugh. _

"Yes. I went along with the meet up. I figured that if he lasted that long, then it was probably worth it. I already know where he lives, where they've been on dates and how long it takes him to grocery shop. I have several photos of him in my phone in case Rose gets got and we have to show the Police who had the nerve to steal our bestfriend. It was time for me to suck it up." I lean my elbows on the counter top and take a sip of my water. "I still don't understand why someone would want to date someone they work with, but to each their own."

Leah laughs, rolling her eyes at me. "We're dating and live in the same building. What's the difference?" Finally putting our bowls of food together, I help her carry our stuff to the table.

I stay quiet as we get situated. I feel awkward not acknowledging her words, but that doesn't stop me from pulling her chair as close to mine as possible. I'm not gonna lie.

Just the word _dating_ makes me want to run the fuck out of here.

But I don't.

Because I missed her today.

_So stupid. _

We eat and laugh and talk about any and everything. Catching each other up on the bullshit that is adulting and what it looks like for us individually. She doesn't bring up my non-responsive response to what she said, but that's Leah.

We're affectionate, but that's nothing new.

We're considerate of each other's safe zones, _but that's nothing new_.

Being with Leah has always been easy. From day 1, we've had an understanding of what the other wanted and needed. She knows I'm weird about relationships, but never shies away from the topic. She knows about my history - both sexual and mental - but never crossed a line without permission.

She's considerate. Thoughtful. Gorgeous.

_Patient. _

Lord knows she needs it when she's dealing with me.

And, yes. That spark that Alice mentioned last weekend is tangible. I've felt it. I feel it.

But sometimes even the strongest of sparks can waver. I've seen it. I'm not trying to be cynical, just realistic.

Being with Leah has always been easy.

It's the 'loving her' part that's really hard.

For me, at least.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Three Weeks Later**_

Emmett empties a bag of chips into a large serving bowl. Rubbing and smacking his hands together to get off the imaginary salt, he looks around the kitchen. Opening and closing drawers until he finds what he's looking for. He turns to me eventually and stares.

Burn a hole right through me why don't ya.

He clears his throat a little and goes to speak.

"So...you're bisexual?" He continues to stare and twirl the spoon he expertly found during his drawer hunt. I look up at him after a minute and blink.

"Yes."

He nods. "Huh." He shuffles some of the chips around and clears his throat again. "I don't mean to pry into your business. I mean, clearly I do, since I'm about to ask you about your business." I smirk. "What's up with you and Leah?"

I freeze. I look up at him. Really look at him.

It's been a couple of months since we were introduced to Emmett and there's been more than enough get togethers for me to decide whether or not he's worth my time. I like Emmett. Honestly.

Truly. He has yet to disappoint me. And that's saying a lot.

With that being said, I'm not surprised he's asking. Leah met Rose and Alice a long time ago. We've all hung out together a few times. They know our situation. Rose made sure _Emmett_ knew our situation - just in case.

I'm not surprised he's asking. I'm more surprised he's asking _now_.

The other girls are preparing the games and movie selection for tonight's get together. The other girls including Leah. While Leah and I live in nice, spacious apartments that allow for private conversations to remain private, Rose is cheap.

There's no such thing as privacy at her place. You literally hear everything. Including her neighbors' everything.

Shit goes off down the hall, let me tell you.

I digress.

Unless Leah is extremely focused on whatever task they have her doing, I know she's heard him ask me this _stupid_ question.

_Really Emmett? Really?_

Let's redirect.

"That's a great question for another day, Em." I give him a look and point at him. I mouth to him _shut up_ and keep chopping celery into sticks. Why does everyone else have to understand something that doesn't affect them? I mean, indirectly directly.

I'm weird about this, I know. I never bring up the topic of relationships unless I'm commenting on someone else's situation. I never ask probing questions because somehow, some way, it gets turned back onto me.

And I hate answering relationship questions because somehow, someway, I end up feeling like shit.

Some would call me scared of commitment or scared of love or whatever.

I'm not trying to be immature or insensitive. I know Leah wants more. Maybe I want more.

I just don't know how to be more. More involves too much shit.

* * *

"Ahhh." Leah sinks down, down, down into the bed. "I still don't know why I haven't bought this kind of mattress." She smiles, eyes closed with a look of tired contentment on her face. _Sigh._ "Tonight was fun. Emmett is kind of a dork."

"Yeah. He really is."

It's quiet for some time. The only sounds are of me moving between my bedroom and the bathroom. After a while of nothing but silence coming from Leah, I figure she fell asleep. Turning off the lights in the common areas and making sure everything is locked and closed for the night, I return to the bedroom. Turning off the lights and putting on Netflix, I settle in for a quiet night of binge watching.

I've never been more grateful for a king sized bed and 1000 count Egyptian cotton sheets.

I glance over at Leah, making sure the TV isn't disturbing her, only to see that she's wide awake and staring at me. I jump away a little.

"Okay, that's not creepy at all. Fucking psycho." I laugh nervously.

She smiles a little and closes her eyes for a beat.

"Do you want me to turn the TV down? I can put on the captions." I go to lower the TV but she puts her hand over mine. I look at her hand and then her face. Uh oh.

"So...I'm not trying to start anything. I just want you to answer a question and not get defensive. Or as defensive as usual." She continues to smile her little smile. Such a cutie.

I take a deep breath before responding. "Okay."

She shifts to lean on her elbows and pulls my hand over to play with my fingers. After a few seconds she looks up at the headboard and takes a deep breath.

"We've been friends for 3 years now," _Shit._ "And we've been sleeping together for majority of our friendship." She takes another deep breath. Fuck. Don't do this to me Leah. "What we have is...contrary to popular belief...really, _really_ good. And…"

I swallow hard. _Where is she going with this?_ "...And?" I coax her to just finish the damn thought already.

With a big sigh, she finally asks the question that I never know how to properly respond to. Well, in the past.

"...If I hadn't been there, or within earshot, how would you have answered Emmett's question about us?"

I open my mouth to speak, but she stops me. "Don't. Think before you say something that will make me kick your ass." I close my mouth. Leah would never hurt me physically, but I would never want to hurt her emotionally. Not intentionally.

My eyes burn with unshed tears, suddenly, at the frustration that this thought process always causes. How the fuck? Why the fuck? _When_ the fuck…? Okay. I know the answer to that last one.

But come _on_.

I sit up and scoot back just to prop my elbows up on my knees and lean my face into my hands. I take a few deep breaths, willingly away this feeling of dread. I feel Leah sit up and start to rub my back. That one little action.

That one little trigger.

"I don't want you to comfort me, Lee." I snap at her. I don't look at her, but I sigh. "Just…" I sigh again.

After the fourth deep breath in and out, Leah has enough. "B. Info dump, remember?"

I shake my head. "You just said that I need to think before I speak."

She nods in agreement. "I did, but you also need to be honest and you know sugar coating only makes you resentful."

"Right."

…

"Baby."

"Right." Deep breathe in. "Okay." Deep breathe out.


	7. Chapter 7

I mentioned before that I didn't want a significant other.

I never mentioned that I already had a Leah.

A close friend. A bestfriend. A lover. A confidante.

Someone I _trust_.

Leah and I became friends _because_ we were attracted to each other. There was always something there, and because I'm me, I let her know what my intentions were at the first opportunity. She never annoyed me in a bad way and I enjoyed her company. Friendship was a given, but unlike my friendships with Alice and Rosalie...I wanted to fuck Leah in the worse way.

I'm an introvert. I hate people. I love my space and time and the ability to do whatever I please without having to worry about someone else's feelings. I don't want to consider other people in my decisions or goals or wants. Just the thought of having to wait on someone else to make the decision on where to _eat_ literally drives me crazy with annoyance.

I know I'm selfish. I don't care. Like I said, I have my circle that includes Alice, Rose and the few family members I speak to on the regular that accept me and my ways.

I didn't want to expand that circle.

But that circle was expanded whether I expected it to be or not.

* * *

"Lee...I'm not exactly...blind to the fact that we're basically together. Your my...you know. God, I can't even say the word out loud." I rub my hands over my face softly. Thankfully she doesn't interrupt. "Look. You know how I feel about this kind of stuff. I know it doesn't make any sense. I've never had a back breakup or even someone to break up with, but this stuff literally makes me want to tear my skin off. I don't want to talk about it."

I look at her to see her reaction. Her face is open, not surprised.

I know my face is red.

"I...I love being with you. Most of the time. I also really love that you have your own place. I'm not saying that we pull a Carrie and Big and get married while keeping different places."

"Yeah, I didn't get that decision. I mean I got it, but I didn't cause it was stupid and triggered too much shit."

I crack a smile. She sounds just like me. "Right. We've discussed that." I huff out a little laugh. "But I would have...I would have told Emmett that while I love you - _I'm in love with you _\- being that committed to someone scares the shit out of me. Literally, sometimes."

She chuckles at that, "I know, Bella."

"I know you know because you know me. So well." I groan. I really hope this is coming out how I need it to.

"I do…" She starts to look confused.

Fuck it. "Do you trust me?"

No hesitation. "Yes, actually. Time and various events have shown me how much I can trust you and your actions and your words." She nods as she says this.

Good. "Do you…" Sigh. "Do you trust me enough to know that what I feel for you isn't going away anytime soon? Even when I'm really annoyed at nothing and everything and have the shittiest attitude you've ever seen for no reason at all? Even then. Even then, do you trust that I hate hurting you in any way that includes you doubting that my feelings amount to being anything less than _so fucking in love with you_?"

My eyes. My eyes are burning. I squeeze my fist to my eyes to stop them from...leaking.

Crying, leaking, whatever.

"Yes, Bella. Yes." I start to interrupt but she stops me. Moving towards me, she straddles my lap and takes my face into her open palms.

Always open.

She continues. "I love you enough to give your space, you weirdo. I love you enough to push your boundaries, even when you don't think you need pushing." She wipes my cheeks. Guess I'm not a thug. "I love you because you're honest, caring and really, really good at listening. I love that you show me in your own way how much you love _me_. You set my alarms when I stay during a weekday. You make me breakfast in bed. You see movies with me that you know you'll hate, but romance is my favorite so you endure it." Big sigh from her. "You love my scars. Mental, emotional, physical." There's a river running down my face. "Baby, you don't give yourself enough credit. You hate the idea of love and everything that comes with it, but you have no problem showing me. I am so in love with how you love me. I am so in love with _you_. Even if you believe love is just ridiculousness."

We laugh at that because, _yeah_.

This love shit is ridiculous.

"Also...let's not forget that you just casually alluded to marrying me."

* * *

A/N: Epilogue is next.


	8. Epilogue

_Epilogue_

"That literally doesn't make any sense."

"I think it does."

"If you want to take up all of the space on the wall then fine. But no. We're not doing that." I walk further down the aisle towards a smaller section of couches. _Oooooo, cream - _

"We're not getting a light colored couch. You spill everything." She shakes her head at me and goes towards the throw pillows.

Fucking throw pillows.

I hurry up after her and open my mouth to tell her about my hatred for throw pillows but don't say anything when she keeps walking, sparing the aisle of throw pillows an eye roll.

I knew there was a reason I loved her.

* * *

I throw myself back onto our new couch and sigh in exhaustion. "We had a plan. I didn't know furnishing a new place would be this hard. We went to find a _couch_ and that shit took 2 hours."

"We had a rough outline. We weren't even supposed to _buy_ a couch today."

"Trust me, I know. This can be the focal point of the room though, and then we can adjust the outline from there."

She laughs. Briefly. "I saw your outline. This couch didn't stray far from it." She flips her hair over her shoulder and looks at me. "We could've done this another time you know. I need you well rested for this. There are three other rooms we to have to finish." She continues to sort our clothes into wash piles. Checking off her list of errands, mouth moving and forming words to help her.

I play with the ends of her hair and then lick my lips when I think about it being wrapped around my fist this morning. "I'm okay. It was important to you, so I figured we'd get it over with. I took Monday and Tuesday off anyway." I yawn, covering my mouth. "I'll get some sleep when you're sleep."

She smiles at the clothes in her hand and looks at me over her shoulder again. Slowly bending down and placing a brief kiss on my lips, she sucks the bottom one, leaning away a little. Another kiss. Finishing her assault on her favorite lip, she kisses my cheek. Tilting her head a little to rest her forehead against my cheek, she closes her eyes and breathes.

I turn to kiss her forehead gently.

_Thank you._

_Anytime..._

* * *

A/N: This will probably have a sequel.


End file.
